Plenty of candidates for this week's award coming from all areas of the sporting world. From college hoops and Indiana Center Eli Holman's temper-tantrum to soccer star Fat Ronaldo having a run in with some transvestite hookers in Brazil, all the way back to Chicago Bears Running Back Cedric (My Favorite last name in football) Benson boating down the Colorado River drunk and failing a Field Float Test, yes that is an actual test as described by Colorado law.
Nominee #1: Eli Holman, Freshman, Center, Indiana University Basketball. When IU hired Coach Tom Crean he immediately knew he would have to be crafty to field a team next year due to player removal, graduation and early-entry to the NBA by Eric Gordon. He didn't know he would need to be crafty to avoid flying objects hurled in the basketball office by disgruntled freshman centers. Expressing his plans to explore one more transfer possibility, Holman was enraged when Crean told him something he didn't want to hear. Apparently Big Eli doesn't like to be told no because his immediate reaction was to throw an elementary school like temper-tantrum and hurl objects through the basketball office. He was just crazy enough for Crean and the IU staff to call the University Police Department, thankfully no charges were filed but good luck transferring Eli.
Nominee #2: Ronaldo, Striker, AC Milan. First of all it is worth pointing out that prostitution is legal in Brazil so Ronaldo is not being targeted as previous winner Chris Henry as someone that broke the law. Unfortunately being on the right side of the law did not enable the large-boned striker's ability to maintain on the right side of his sexuality. These actions just leaves NHBS with one question for Ronaldo, did you notice the atom's apple?
Nominee #3: Cedric Benson, Running Back, Chicago Bears. The much maligned Benson certainly could not have been happy about the Bears drafting Tulane Sensation Matt Forté in the 2nd round of the draft last weekend so naturally he got drunk. Apparently no one told Cedric that just like a car, it is illegal to operate a boat while under the influence. Benson was arrested Saturday for what we like to call in Bloomington, a BUI, not to be confused with the always valuable nautical device a buoy. Oh Cedric, if you hadn't already lost your job to the rookie Forté, surely now you have.
Winner announced tomorrow.
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